Show me the Money (or lack thereof)

Juliana just texted me to remind me that I am, as always, behind on my blog. I really suck about staying on top of it...partly because I also keep a private, handwritten journal where I have been keeping tabs on all of my "triggers" and coping skills learned this year in counseling, and also partly because I am just so damn busy lately. But here I am with a life update...I am sitting at Mark's empty apartment, heat cranked, TV on, taking advantage of the free internet while he's in Alaska.

So, I'll start there. Mark's in Alaska. He's been there since the 11th, so I haven't seen him since the 10th...and he isn't due home until late this week. He is shooting for this Thursday, but should have a better idea after work tomorrow and be able to book his ticket...I am really hoping for Wednesday or Thursday so I can take the afternoon off to pick him up at the airport. I miss him! This is his first out of town work trip since we've met, so I didn't get any warm up or practice run while he did a few days in Seattle or Yakima or Eugene, I just got BOOM, 3 weeks in Anchorage. Ack! On top of the fact that he's gone, which is just a bummer, he is working 14-16 hours a day, 7 days a week, so not only is he not home, but he is so tired and busy that I am getting short, sweet, to the point goodnight phone calls and that's been about it. For the new, blissed out couple who talks for hours every day and texts like a junior high couple, its been hard. I am really excited for him to be home. I feel like he called me his girlfriend, introduced me to his family, told me he loved me...and then took off for 3 weeks!

Of course, having your boyfriend gone for 3 weeks is never fun, but the timing was awful as well, as this year has had a very stressful start for me, and I really needed someone other than my mommy to help me out. Juno, who everyone knows is like, the most important and heroic pet in the universe, had a big health scare last weekend, which scared the living shit out of me. I was all packed and ready to go to Sun River with Stace & Blake for the weekend, and as I was getting Juno ready to take to my mom's, she just wasn't acting right. She hadn't eaten, drank any water, or pooped in 24 hours and my mom noticed she had very rapid, labored breathing. I took her to the ER vet where, after an X-ray showing she wasn't choking, I learned she was having a severe asthma attack! I ended up in the vet until 3:30AM while she was on oxygen, monitored, injected with steroids, etc. I took her home and we slept in late Saturday, then I had to fill 4 prescriptions and spend the week closely monitoring her and her breathing. She is doing so well and everything went fine at her follow up with the vet yesterday, but oh my gosh, I was so stressed and so worried, I didn't even want to leave her home alone to go to work! And on top of stressing over her health and worrying about her, the whole to-do cost me almost $800...which I did not have to spend on anything, let alone the cat! So that was hard.

On top of that, I had been experiencing some very intense pain in my left ovary, which was obviously concerning. I had my IUD removed after thinking that it may have been the culprit, but the pain didn't subside. I saw my doctor, who ordered an ultrasound, which resulted in some news and some more mysteries. I have a tiny cyst on my ovary which is not a concern, and the pain was likely another small one rupturing in my body, which also did not concern him. What did cause concern was a 2" mass in my cervix, right at the opening to my uterus, which isn't normal and shouldn't be there. I was referred to a gynological specialist and have an appointment next Monday, where I will hopefully learn it is benign and doesn't need to be removed. It could, however, potentially be a blood clot or endometrial cancer, so I am anxious about that appointment coming up. Another financial stressor as well, as the ultrasound has already cost me $500 out of pocket, and I'm sure the bills will keep increasing, as they tend to do.

And in case the medical bills weren't enough to cause me a heart attack, my car is in the shop with expired tags...it'll be $50-$100 for the diagnostic, and I have to fix the problem in order to pass DEQ in order to register my car, which is another $200. Ugh...I hate financial stress!

The good news is, my tax return is $1500, which I am hoping will hurry up and arrive. I definitely need that money this year and was so relieved to see how much it was...I have heard checks are taking longer this year to arrive with some new bull shit laws, so I am just so thankful that my mama is supportive and helpful, so I won't sink before it gets here and I can catch up. It is so frustrating with as hard as I work and how many promotions I have received in 2 years, and I still make such little money. Mark gave me quite the pep talk this weekend while I was feeling especially shitty about how much more I should be earning than I am...its hard to hear about your brother's entry level, totally lame-o job paying more than the one you've worked 3 years for!!

Anyways, I'm done venting for now. If anyone feels like mailing me some money, that'd be great! LOL.