Big things coming in 2013

Between 2009 and 2011, I had a lot of hard times that my friends and family are all aware of. From bad relationships, to losing my wonderful grandparents, to the death of an ex boyfriend, things were a little bit turmoltuous for me for a period of time. Thanks to my family, my friends, an awesome counselor, and just the passing of time in general, I have come out ahead and 2012 was such a great year...

In 2012...I moved from my parents' house, where I was staying for 8 months after my break up, into an awesome little condo in Clackamas. I have struggled financially this year because I chose to live by myself instead of with roommates, but it has been worth it. I love coming home and being in my own space. I love that Juno comes running to the door to greet me and that I can just do what I want. I am enjoying (slowly) decorating and settling in, and I can't wait for the painting to be done so I can hang shelves, pick up my bed and lamps from Ikea, and stop using a 50-year-old table as a nightstand. I decorated for Christmas for the first time in my very own space and I just loved it! I loved my tree, the lights, my stocking hanging just with Juno's...so fun!

In 2012...I got promoted! I was the assistant manager at Bridge Creek for just over 12 months and got promoted to a manager position at Village @ Van Mall just a few weeks ago...and I earned it. I worked my ass off at Bridge Creek, and I am enjoying learning my new property and position. I enjoy my staff, and I think this is a great fit for me for my first time as a manager. I learned so much working for my previous manager as well as from my regional manager, and I feel I was defintiely set up for success in this transition.

In 2012...I got healthy. At least mentally. I have work to do with fitness (see 2013 goals to come, lol), but I was able to really focus on myself, learn from my past, and clarify what I want for my future. I started counseling in September and in a ten week span, completely disected my relationship with Kalib from ugly start to ugly finish. It was cathartic to dive into it and then let it go, to learn new coping skills, to set new boundaries, and to have a therapist tell me what great work I was doing putting my needs first. I feel like Kalib is a distant past now, not something weighing on me, and I love that feeling. Just as with any other mistake, you learn, you let go, and you move forward knowing not to make the same mistake twice. I am still a work in progress, but I have made huge strides and the level of happiness is just so great.

In 2012...I met someone amazing! After coming to the realization that I was ready to date someone new at the beginning of the summer, it also occurred to me that I wasn't meeting anyone...I don't hang out in bars anymore (nor is that where I want to meet a guy), I work in an almost strictly female industry, and I don't like being scammed on at the gym. Outside of that, I hang out with my family, and no one had any prospects for me. So I went out on a limb after a hike with a girlfriend who had suggested it, and joined Match.com in September. I chatted with a few guys and gave my number to a couple, and even went on a date with one...he was super nice, but there just wasn't any chemistry. And then I went out a total limb and emailed someone I thought was cute. And he wrote back! After exchanging several emails over a week or so, I again stretched my wings and offered him my number. I was stoked when he texted, then called, and then asked me out for a drink. We met in person for "a quick drink" on September 16th, which ended up being 2 beers and a nacho over about 4 hours of laughing and talking, and neither of us has gone on another date with anyone else since. It was instant chemistry and such a spark, and here we are 3 months later, very happy, taking our time, each tackling our past baggage, but enjoying each other so much. I've never been so relaxed, at ease, or comfortable with a guy I'm dating. My family likes him, and he thinks they're so fun. I am spoiled with quality time & home-cooked meals instead of with "stuff." I'm just SO happy.

In 2012...I lost a dear old friend. I traveled to Tennessee to spend a week with LaDonna. I took my first motorcycle ride. I went to the beach a lot. I hiked an awesome new waterfall and had an adventure. I snuggled with Blake. I welcomed new babies in my family. I celebrated birthdays & holidays. I went to everything. I didn't skip out on family things. I got a raise. I had a hard time paying my bills. I read books. I journaled. I moved, cleaned, and purged. I learned to make a budget. I bonded with my family. I missed people. I grew closer with other people. I had an adventure and I got to where I am, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I am always careful in setting New Year's Resolutions because I am not always the best at keeping them. I try to just set a few shorter term goals for going into the year, and that tends to work out a bit better.

“Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!”

I always seem to set the same New Year's resolutions: eat healthy, exercise more, blah blah blah...and inevitably I always forget about them mid-January and go back to working out regularly but not obsessively and eating regularly, not starving myself. This year, I wanted to make some real goals - not some stupid resolution to be a better version of myself, but some actual goals to help me grow as the person I already am (because the point of making a goal is not to change who you are, but rather to improve certain aspects of your life). Seeing them in black and white, and knowing all of my Facebook world has seen them as well, makes them more real than just leaving them floating in my head, so here they are friends, my goals for 2012, which will surely be a great year.

~ Join a book club. Find one online or attend one with friends. Read more books in general, but remember that discussing them and engaging with other bookworms is fun and something I enjoy. Don't feel guilty for letting a great book suck me in and keep me in bed for 2 whole days in my jammies without a shower...a great book will sometimes exclude me from the rest of the world and that is just fine.

~ Write. Nobody ever published their first book before they wrote it. Find the character I want to write and get something on paper.

~ Find out what it would take for the Tinkerbell on my lower back to become a tattoo I will love instead of just be annoyed by. Whether or not I ever actually get her covered up with something new, at least get my questions answered by an artist or 2 about what I could do with her annoying little face.

~ Travel. Short drives to a favorite hiking spot, weekends to the coast, or big trips to visit family or friends, just get out of my bubble and see something new. Have fun, take photos, do it cheap and remember sunglasses. Use vacation days - that's why we have them - and drive somewhere new for a day.

~ Do what it takes to get in good enough shape to run the stairs - all 280 of them - at Mt. Tabor Park. Start with a set at a time, don't get frustrated or mad that right now I can't do it and breath in & out simultaneously. Grasp this as a fitness challenge and take it head on. Accept that I am not, and never will be, a runner. I will never do a 5k, I won't take on Hood to Coast...I hate running. But stairs? I am up for this challenge.

I am ready, 2012, bring it on. :)

This was my blog from New Year's last year. I like that I wrote them down somewhere I could go back to them. Even though I didn't necessarily stick to all of them (like I said, I never do). I did make a valliant effort to join a book club, but never found one. That said, I did read a LOT more this year than I have in the last few years, and that was the point of that goal, so I think I did ok. I wrote a lot. A ton. I didn't write a book by any means, but I practiced. I kept a journal, and after starting counseling, I think I wrote my life story. I did find a tattoo artist who can fix the grumpy face in Tinkerbell, and when I have the money to retouch it, I'm ready to do it. I did travel a lot. Lots of beach days, beach weekends, hikes, etc...I worked a ton this summer, but I squeezed in enough me time as well. I followed a boy to Vegas, and even though he turned out to be a dud, we had a great time and I got to see Rob & Kim there as well. Tons of fun. And I went to Tennessee too...2 plane trips in 2012 made me happy! As for the 280 Mt. Tabor Stairs? Epic fail. Turns out, they hurt my shins, I don't like outdoor workouts, and the drive there was hard to find motivation to do. Soooo, no go on that. LOL

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."

In 2013...I will continue to get healthier, both physically and mentally. I will continue to use my coping skills, counseling, journaling, and the other tools I have acquired in order to better myself for the future. In the same regard, I will continue to eat well, as I have been doing, but I will force the exercise habit back to where it was earlier in the year. I will take advantage of the fitness center on site at my work, where I can listen to music, jump on the elliptical, and take care of my weight training before I even leave the building for the day. No excuses.

In 2013...I will, as always, make time for me and make time to travel. Day trips count, and I want to make sure I am not in Portland when I turn 30. I need to decide on a location and a plan.

In 2013...I will create my budget and stick to it. Continue to cut my expenses in ways that I am able, save where I can, and take care of my finances. I am a smart girl, I can make smarter money choices.

In 2013...I will continue to be happy and make changes as necessary to stay that way. If something or someone isn't making me happy, then I will recognize my boundaries and make change. I like this amazing happy feeling I am currently engulfed in, and I am keeping it!